Maybe It Was
by BregoArodShadowfax
Summary: Lupincentric.  Set in Book 7, and contains SPOILERS, so DON'T READ IF YOU HAVEN'T READ THE BOOK! Full summary inside.


**I'm surprised it's taken me this long, but I've finally written a Harry Potter fanfiction!**

**And for those of you who have disregarded the warning, this includes SPOILERS for the DEATHLY HALLOWS, so if you don't what to know what happens, don't read. **

**And for those of you who are wondering what it is about, it's basically Lupin from the time right before he was killed to the time Harry calls them back through the Resurrection Stone. I hope the explanations and everything coincide with the book, because I haven't actually finished it yet…just skimmed it. **

**Lately my way of dealing with anything is to write about it, and apparently Harry Potter was no different. So I hope you all enjoy it, and drop me a review telling me what you think :)**

**And I haven't really beta-d it, because I'm posting it on the run, so I'll probably go back and correct any flaws…I've re-read most of it, but there are always things that I miss, it seems. **

**Anyway, enough rambling…on with the story!**

**Disclaimer: Harry Potter and the characters don't belong to me…The only things that I own are the books. And the ideas that come out of my brain. **

**Maybe It Was**

Harry was right. Of course, he had known it all along, but to hear it put so bluntly made him realize the staggering truth of it. He _was _a coward. And that's all he had ever been…too cowardly to join James and Sirius in their pranks, for the most part, and too cowardly to admit to the teachers who was behind those pranks, even when they tended to go a little too far. Too cowardly to tell Dumbledore he had betrayed his trust by letting three unregistered Animagi run around, even when they had thought Sirius was trying to kill Harry.

He ducked behind a pillar as a killing curse bounced off the stone over his head. At least he had convinced Tonks not to come tonight, even though she was set on the idea. Harry was right about one thing; parents shouldn't leave their children unless they had to. And she didn't. Besides, he was well aware that everybody whom he let get close to him would end up dying. It was like a curse, over and above even being a werewolf. He had lost everybody, and he wasn't going to lose his wife, too.

Lily, James, Sirius…Sirius twice, because he had abandoned him for twelve years while he was in Azkaban. Most of the Order, and even Dumbledore, who had taken him in and granted him an education when most wizards would have been scared to even look at him. And yet he managed to get through almost all of their many scrapes without so much as a scratch…he knew his luck was bound to run out, even though he wished he could have taken a few more Death Eaters down with him.

And even Snape…as much as he knew Severus despised him, he had never had any reason to hate the man. Until, of course, the incident with Dumbledore…that was unforgivable, but Albus had seemed so certain that Snape could be trusted…maybe it all could have been avoided if they had just listened to Harry from the beginning.

And that's who it all came back to, wasn't it? Harry Potter. Lupin felt bad for blasting him into the wall that day in Grimmauld Place, but the boy had hit a little too close to home. And while they seemed to be on speaking terms again, they had never formally apologized. And now they would never get a chance to, because he knew when he had met his match, and Dolohov was just too good. If one of those curses hit…

He realized with a jolt that the thought of his own death didn't scare him. He felt a twinge of guilt for Tonks and Teddy, but knew that they would be much better off without a half-breed husband and father to bring shame to the family. Andromeda was already blaming him for Ted's death…she hadn't said it outright, but she had grown cold toward him, and he knew that the thought of having a werewolf in the family was shame enough for anyone. It had been a miracle that Teddy hadn't inherited anything from him…one of the few moments of pure relief and happiness he had felt since Sirius had fallen through the veil, but it didn't help Teddy any. He had even considered changing his son's surname…everybody knew that he was a werewolf, but Tonks would have none of it.

So like Sirius; it was easy to tell they were related. They both seemed to have found it an honor to be friends with a werewolf, like it was being friends with somebody special; somebody who wasn't a monster and could kill them all when he transformed. If anything, that only made him feel worse, because he knew the truth.

He was going to die. That's all there was to it, and there was no time for regret, now. No time for…

"_Stupefy!" _

_Tonks! _He would have known that voice anywhere. But why on earth would she come here, now, when he had expressly told her…

Of course. He had just said it himself, she was so like Sirius. And Sirius would never have stayed away if one of his friends was in danger. Ducking another spell he raced out to pull Tonks back behind the pillar.

"Remus!" she gasped. As if she didn't know he was there.

"I told you to stay with Teddy." He tried to keep his voice measured. He wasn't angry; he should have known better.

"And let you have all the fun?" she smirked. "Besides, Bellatrix and I have got a score to settle. Mom can take care of Teddy fine; probably better than I can. She's a master at all of those household spells, you know. I'm just surprised I've never tripped over anything while carrying him, yet."

Even in the middle of a battle, she could still make him smile, he thought ruefully. "Be careful. You know people are going to die."

"You're far too morbid, Remus. If you think you have no chance, of _course _something bad is going to happen. Don't worry about me," she flashed him a quick smile and headed off to find Bellatrix.

Lupin, however, couldn't shake the feeling that something horrible was going to happen, and if he and Tonks both died, how would Andromeda feel about being Teddy's provider? That is, until Harry was old enough to take on his role as godfather…if Harry defeated Voldemort.

And if he didn't…well, none of this would really matter, would it? He turned back to the battle to find Fenrir Greyback streaking along on all fours; more wolf than human, and sent a quick stunning spell his way which knocked the wizard back into the staircase. Tonks turned quickly to see what the commotion was, and she failed to notice Bellatrix, who was grinning evilly as she raised her want.

Lupin's horror-struck mind barely had time to register what had happened before his heightened senses warned him to turn around. But everything seemed to move in slow motion, even the jet of green light that Dolohov had aimed at him. He felt something…guilt? Regret? …before the light hit him in the chest and he knew no more.

000

"Moony?"

Lupin groggily tried to open his eyes and sit up, realizing soon after that something was wrong. He was dead…wasn't he? If so, why did it all feel so real? And who was…

"Come on, Moony, snap out of it. I know you're in there!"

Whoever it was didn't sound sad…as if they had died…and the voice…

"Sirius?"

"So dying hasn't affected your brain! I was afraid you weren't going to be the same!"

Lupin blinked once and the face of his friend came into focus. Only…Sirius looked…younger, happier. Like he had before Lily and James had died. So what was…

"Hello, Remus."

Lupin sat up with a gasp; he knew that voice, too, despite not having heard it in nearly sixteen years. "Lily?"

"How are you?" She knelt down, her long red hair falling over her shoulders as her green eyes stared into his amber ones.

"Not…horrible, considering that I'm dead. Am I…what do I look like?"

"Like you did the last time we saw you," James put in, his usual sardonic smile on his face. "Before…" he stopped, unsure of whether he needed to continue.

"But where are we? And why is it only us?"

"Because Harry needs us…will need us. He's going to face Voldemort tonight," Sirius' grey eyes were filled with bitterness.

"I know. That's how come I…died." It felt odd to admit it. "But where's Tonks?"

"Tonks? She isn't dead too, is she?" Sirius looked afraid of the answer, even though the answer was somewhat obvious.

"Yes. I'm sorry, Sirius. I know she felt more like family than most of your other relatives."

"Who…"

"Bellatrix. She seems intent on killing all of the so-called blood traitors in the Black family, doesn't she? And Tonks was just one more person I couldn't save…like all of you. I watched my best friends die and now my wife…"

"You need to stop blaming yourself, you know that?" Sirius grinned, before he realized what Lupin had just said. "Wait…your _wife?_"

"Yeah…I thought spirits could see everything that was going on…I figured you knew."

"Normally we can, but Voldemort seems to have been…interfering with whatever magic allows us to view the world. Ever since he came back, it's like there's a grey cloud over the earth," Lily explained. "We've been worried sick for Harry, but Sirius assures us that he's a capable boy."

"He is. More than. But…I'm sorry you had to find out this way, Padfoot."

"Sorry! Moony…we're related!" He threw his arms around the werewolf. "Really related! I mean…I guess I shouldn't be happy, but…I'm _so _going to get her back for not even telling me she was interested!"

"We still have magic?" Lupin was surprised to notice that he did, indeed, still have his wand.

"Of course. The perks of being a wizard. I've been here two years, and I still haven't quite figured out how it all works. I guess it's kind of like that Muggle place they call Heaven…only for wizards. When you want to see somebody else, you just think about them and you're there. It's rather convenient, actually," Sirius admitted. "I think there's a way for wizards to see Muggles, too, but seeing as how I really don't know any, I've never bothered to find out."

"There is," Lily cut in. "It only makes sense, though, that they can't come to our side…seeing magic when you're dead tends to have the same effect on Muggles as seeing it if they were alive," she smiled.

"You said something about helping Harry…what do we have to do?"

"Well, from what Dumbledore has said…Harry is a Horcrux," James explained.

"A what?"

"Is the world ending? For once, we know something you don't!" Sirius was grinning broadly, as if this were the best news in the world.

"It's my fault, really," Lily admitted, a small smile on her face. "When I sacrificed myself for him and made the killing curse rebound, Voldemort…you see, he had split his soul into seven parts to prevent it from truly dying…the part of his soul that was still within him had to go somewhere after his body was destroyed, and so it went into the only living occupant of the room."

"Harry," Lupin nodded, realizing that of course Dumbledore would have known this. "And so all year he's been trying to find and destroy these Horcruxes. But that means…" his eyes widened. "He has to die, doesn't he?"

"Yes." Lily looked like she was about to cry. "And it's because of me…I should have known something terrible would happen!"

"Lily, it's nobody's fault. What you did was extremely brave and probably saved countless lives," Lupin assured her.

"Moony's right, dear. I don't want to hear another word about it," James put a comforting arm around her shoulders. "But I keep thinking that there's more…why would Dumbledore keep him alive all these years if he's only to die in the end? The part of his soul that belongs to Voldemort has to be destroyed, but what of his own soul?"

"Dumbledore's been mum about a lot of things…he's not here half the time either, always cavorting off to his picture to talk with Snape," Sirius made a face as if he had just tasted something bad. "Slimy git turned out to be on our side after all."

"He is?" Lupin looked interested.

"Yes, apparently everything…even Dumbledore dying…was planned. So I guess that means you were right, all along."

"I'm always right," Lupin smiled. "But how do we know Harry's going to call us? How can we help?"

"Because Dumbledore gave him a Resurrection stone. It can only be used properly when the one who wields it knows that death is inevitable, and it calls back souls from the other side who will protect him until his task is complete," Lily replied, looking solemn. "Somehow, Harry's going to find out that he needs to die in order for Voldemort to be destroyed, and when it does, our job is to give him courage and keep him going."

Lupin still looked confused. "But Harry can choose anybody, can't he? Anybody he wants to. The three of you are obvious choices, of course, but why me?"

"Come on, Moony, you and Harry have always got on. And he's always looked up to you, as a person and a Professor. You seem a pretty obvious choice to me," Sirius shrugged. "And besides, you've spent more time with him than all of us."

With a jolt Lupin realized that was true. He _had _spent the most time with Harry; nearly a whole year as a Professor and on occasion for three years after that. "Yes, but…Harry and I haven't been on the best of terms since last August. We had a…disagreement…no, Sirius, now's not the time to discuss it," he put in as Sirius gave him an interested look. "A disagreement that resulted in me blasting him across your kitchen into the wall," Lupin looked down sheepishly.

Sirius barked a laugh. "He must have been a snarky git then, for you to get angry with him. But you've never made amends?"

"Not formally. He accepted my offer when I asked him to be godfather, but…"

"WHAT?" Sirius bellowed, causing Lupin to wince.

"Padfoot, mate, extra sensitive hearing."

"Sorry. But…you have a…a…"

"Son, yes. And Harry's his godfather. That was why I didn't want Tonks to come along tonight; now _both _his parents are dead," he shot a guilty look at James and Lily.

"So you tried to make her stay with the kid? Not a good plan, Remus, she's about as stubborn as me," Sirius looked proud of this fact.

"Don't I know it."

"I'm sure your son will be fine, Remus. And I've no doubt he'll turn out to be a phenomenal wizard," Lily smiled encouragingly.

"Thanks. I'm just relieved that he didn't turn out…like me. We didn't know until he was born, of course, but soon as he was his hair practically stared changing color. He seems set on turquoise; for the life of me, I don't know why, but he does."

"Speaking of which, now that you're not among the living, are you still going to turn into a ferocious beastie once a month?" Sirius asked.

"I have no idea. I guess we won't know until the full, and that's not for two weeks. At this point…although I'm not used to it; I don't think it's possible to be, but it would feel strange to –not- transform," Lupin admitted, surprised to realize that, for all of the prejudice and anti-werewolf wizards in the world, he wouldn't have had it any other way. "Can you still…"

He was stalled form completing his question by the appearance of James-the-stag, and Sirius asked, "Now that Prongs is done showing off, whatever happened to a certain _rat?_"

Lupin had no problem figuring out whom he was referring to. "He's dead. I don't know many of the details, but it sounds as if Harry called him out for owing him for saving his life, and his hesitation caused Voldemort's wrath."

"Good. So you were the last of us. Nothing would irk me more than knowing that…that…_rat _was still alive and the rest of us weren't. Well, at least the Marauders went out with a bang," Sirius smiled wistfully.

"Come on, Padfoot, that's how we do everything!" James, now returned to his human form, grinned.

"But you still haven't told me how you know exactly who Harry is going to pick," Lupin brought up.

"We don't know," Lily admitted. "We…or, rather, Dumbledore, guessed."

"That's why we're here. The afterlife doesn't normally look like the British coast on a foggy day, but Dumbledore thought it would be easier for Harry to summon us from here."

"But we're pretty sure that Dumbledore is right. It only makes sense," James added. "Any more questions?"

"Yes, actually. Something all of us have been wondering, Sirius. What happened after you fell through the veil?"

"I died." Sirius answered as if it were the most obvious answer in the world. "When I opened my eyes again, I was with Prongs and Lily."

"So it's a good thing that I practically tackled Harry to keep him from following you," Lupin mused.

"More than likely. Should have known the boy would have tried something like that. Too much like James for his own good."

"He loved you, Sirius. He was pretty torn up after your death…and, admittedly, so was I, but you were the closest thing to real family he had."

"That's not true, and you know it. He loved you too, Remus. I know it; he's forgiven you for whatever happened."

Sirius looked like he was about to say more when a disembodied voice suddenly whispered, "_I am about to die." _

"Harry!" Lily and James exclaimed together.

"Is that it, then? Is that the sign?" Lupin asked.

"Yes. Ready to save the world?" Sirius grinned at him.

"Haven't we been doing that our whole lives?" Lupin countered, returning the smile. He felt confident, he realized. Confident that they could do this; that they could win. He hadn't felt that emotion since…since they were in school; since the last time they all were together. He knew that most of the time he had been reckless; running around the countryside in wolf-form when he could have easily have bitten anybody, but having James and Sirius around, and Lily of course, had always made him feel like anything was possible.

And maybe it was.


End file.
